Blogrophenia: The Reverend Aton's Site

As I write this blog entry 2004 is rapidly coming to an end. I don't like to complain and 2005 finds both me and the vast majority my loved ones in general good health so really what can I say. This past year saw the creation of this blog which is a good thing and mostly I enjoyed myself however I am happy to get this year behind me in many ways some serious and some not so serious.

On a serious note 2004 saw the continuation for four more years of the very dangerous and misguided Presidency of George W. Bush. While this buffoon wreaks havoc on the world and the reputation of these United States perhaps his Supreme Court appointments will be the most frightening prospects for the future of the United States. He can continue to damage jurisprudence for decades in this way. . . Very sad. . .

But little is as sad as the recent Tsunami tragedy. The numbers are staggering and overwhelming. I don't even have anything to say. It's just a tremendous catastrophe of incredible proportions. . .

On a much lighter note it's been a dark year for almost all of my teams. The Yankees suffered "the Collapse", the Chiefs failed to capitalize on their first good year in years following up last year's 13-3 campaign with (at best after this Sunday) an 8-8 year and perhaps even a 7-9 year. What we know for sure is that Tony Priest and the boys will be home. Similarly the Marlins couldn't make the playoffs after winning the World Series and even the Royals couldn't do much after a pretty good 2003.

Personally, as I said my friends and family are generally well although I am still a little tender and God knows Blue is banged up with a bad back but I am still alive and Blue still has Pedro and the Passion to keep him happy.

I ran my first marathon which I am proud of but my time was misreble. I intend to try to seriously focus on running this year. . .

Well that's it for now I am heading out to see the Life Aquatic and then going to CP for a midnight run. . .

All is quiet on New Year's Day,
Moses

What the Fock?

Meet the Fockers is the moderately amusing follow up to the hilarious Meet the Parents. It is fun and cute but no where near the masterpiece that MTP was. DeNiro reprises the hilarious Jack character but often relies on the same jokes (the pointing to both his eyes and saying "I'm watching you"). Stiller is great as Gaylord Focker but still not quite as funny as he was in the original. A few small characters from the original have cameos including Owen Wilson but none come close to being as hilarious.

Ultimately the movie is not quite as good as the original for several reasons. The movie fails to grow often relying on the same gags as the original. There were a lot of funny characters in the original but none have really grown or changed. It's the another two hours of the same jokes. . .
The movie is too over the top. The Fockers are too garish and unrealistic. No one could be that absurd and then to add insult to injury the "lesson" of the movie seems to be that DeNiro and his family had a lot to learn from the obnoxious and over the top Fockers. What gall.

Bottom line: A silly movie that doesn't respect the intelligence of the audience. It's a waste of time. Sit home and watch the original on HBO for a laugh or better still watch the Royal Tennenbaums or something.

If you're intelligent and don't need some Hollywood liberals, who can't even manage to put together a funny movie, preaching at you in a sneaky way do yourself a favor and follow my advice. . .

What the fuck is this world;
running to you didn't,
Moses

December 21, 2004

First day of winter, my brother in law Van's birthday and my friend Emma Wright's birthday. Shortest day of the year. The days only get longer from here on in though. . .

Woke up got out of bed,
dragged a comb across my head,
Moses

The news is just too horrible to read anymore. Just as Peterson was getting his for his atrocity there's this story out of Missouri about that poor woman getting murdered and the fetus being stolen. This stuff is just too awful.

I read the news today oh boy,
Moses

In the immortal words of Michael Jordan and the Governor of California:

"I'm back. . ."

It was a cold wet December day when we touched the ground at JFK,
Moses

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about avery old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the WesternWall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, whenhe turned toleave, she approached him for an interview."I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have youbeen coming to theWestern Wall and praying?""For about 60 years.""60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?""I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all ourchildren to grow up insafety and friendship.""How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?""Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."

Peace and Love,
Moses

Let's Be Honest With Ourselves or Because You ARE a Character Doesn't Mean You HAVE Character

One of my favorite things about this internet era that we live in is e-mail. I e-mail virtually everyday whether I am home or halfway across the world. While I have been away on my trip I have been reflecting on many things. Some of these things involve honesty. Not with others so much, but rather honesty with one's self. It occurs to me that one way in which I haven't been honest with myself is the result of e-mail.

One of my favorite pasttimes is e-mailing with my friends. More specifically I enjoy e-mailing my friends about my life, about sports and often about politics. It is the latter which I will choose to focus on. Most rarely I e-mail my friends with political stories that I think would think interest them, but because they can easily find these stories on their own, it is far more common that I e-mail MY opinion on something political. As the years have gone on, I've found that their responses get more and more predictable, as most certainly they have found mine. Consequently our discussions have ceased to be expository and in many cases become simple debates with each position firmly and yet tacitly established.

Being alone and e-mailing much less frequently, I have lacking a foil been forced to sort of debate myself. Surprisingly, I have noticed that I am occasionally talking myself into new positions.

I've realized that I have been taking positions so reflexively that I have ceased to reflect carefully on issues and begun to simply argue positions as if I had been retained by the Left. This really disturbed me. My own identity has become a burden. I'd put it before my quest for truth.

Effective immediately I have resolved to try to perceive the world the way I used to: As a seeker of truth instead of as a character playing a role. . .

They call me the Seeker;
I've been searching low and high,
Moses

Congrats Blue it looks like your club scored Pedro. I think it's actually a pretty decent move although I am sure that everyone will invoke Mo Vaughn Mo Vaughn (to be sung to the tune of U2's "Walk On"). . .

An Egyptian Rise in "Christianism"?

I have written in this space and elsewhere about the rise of Islam in Egypt but there has also been a rise in Christianity in Egypt. One of the other places that I have written about both is to a friend of mine who is of the Arab/Muslim persuasion he wrote back:

It's interesting to note that both Christians and Muslims are more religious. When I'm there, I only interact with my family and so I can see the upswing in religiousness by Muslims but never get to see/ experience whether this is something across the board with Christians as well. Do you think it's a reaction to the upswing in more vocal and outward displays by Muslims?

Now I don't have a great answer, nor am I particulary qualified to answer, to this question but I thought that my response may be of some interest so here it is:

Yeah, I think that is a very interesting question. Certainly, Egyptian Christians (Copts) seem to define themselves negatively, which is to say in relation to the Islamic majority. Therefore, a rise in Islam triggers a reflexive rise in the Copts. But I would add that there seems to be a religious surge everywhere but Europe (theirs souls are dead, they probably smoked them to death). Just look at the U.S. What that global rise is attributable is perhaps an even more interesting question. Global Zeitgeist? Memes? Modern man's alienation? I am not sure, but suffice it to say something is happening and it's going on pretty much all over. . .

I can't stand the beat
I'm askin' for the cheque
Girl with crimson nails
Has Jesus 'round the neck,
Moses

A Friend's Thoughtlessness

I have known Royal for well over half my life. He's a great guy and a loyal friend. I've always thought this and I still do. I hope that I always will.

However, recently I was very disturbed by an e-mail that I got from him. It wasn't anything in particular. In fact if I reprinted the whole thing I doubt that many readers would even know what offended me. And yet I think that I am not being touchy at all.

Basically Royal wrote me a long e-mail asking me how I am doing, recommending that we get together when I get back to the U.S. in mid January and told me about his newborn son. All in all it was a sweet and friendly e-mail.

However, at several points during his e-mail he referred to my "sketchy" trip to the Middle East. Now, as I said Royal has known me his entire life, he knows my parents and even my sister, Yolanda. He has slept over my house and attended school with me. In short he knows me as well as anyone. Further, still we got together about a week before my trip and I discussed my trip with him at length and still he refers to my trip as sketchy.

Royal is himself a Roman Catholic of European descent whom I would not at all characterize as a racist. I am certain that he does think that I have an unsavory connections, nor of course do I. And still he notes several times during his missive that he finds my trip "sketchy".

I wonder would be find my trip sketchy if I were an Italian visiting Italy or of Irish extraction and visiting Ireland etc. I doubt it.

So then why is that he finds my trip sketchy. Why does he think that it's alright to articulate this?

I've written in this space before on my feelings of being an ethnic outsider. Of my alienation as a kid growing up and of my different experiences as an Arab American. This was pretty minor but these things add up. I try not to let this stuff consume or define me but I think that it is sad. I think the whole thing is sad. When will this stuff end?

How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Moses

The State of Egypt as I See It

I have been going to Cairo my whole life. I made my first trip there as an infant and have been there many times since. There are a few major differences in Cairo that I have seen over the years.

1. The first is that it is more crowded. You might respond that this is the case everywhere except Detroit and hardly notable. Still the difference in Cairo is a bit more pronounced even than Long Island, whose population has changed it's face dramatically.

2. Pollution. The pollution in Cairo has become unbearable. The air is simply not fit to breathe. While I used to enjoy sitting out on the hotel balcony overlooking the Nile and contemplating, I can hardly bear to open the door. Although there is some evidence that it things are worse here this time of year, I find the pollution level simply unacceptable.

3. The rise of Islam. I remember going to Egypt and rarely seeing any woman covered up with the traditional Islamic burkah. Now I would say that over 80% of the woman walking the stret have either their hair or whole face covered up. Further over 50% of the men walking around have a "zebiba". A discolored area on their forehead that appears after praying five times a day and touching your forehead to the ground repeatedly. The popularity, practice and downright ubiquity of Islam in Egypt is much more prounounced than I have ever seen it in 30 years. I am sad to say that revolution in Egypt would not surprise me.

4. General dissatisfaction is at an all time high and I cannot be sure but I am convinced throught what economists would call casual empiricism that drug use is up as well. The people of Egypt while still very good natured and generally friendly seem occasionally short and irratated. Again a phenomenon that I had never before noticed and one likely related to the last change I noted.

5. Anti-Americanism is about the same but anti-Bush sentiment in particular is very high. The people of Egypt have throughout my lifetime never particularly loved the U.S. viewing it's treatment of Arabs as unfair. That has not changed, but they seem particularly anti-Bush. "How is that" one Egyptian asked "you can have reelected that man?" Genuinly surprised by what he viewed as poor judgement by the American people.

All in all I am pretty disappointed with the state of Egypt, but I am disappointed by a lot these days when it comes to geopolitics.

I sure would like to;
Feel some pride;
But this place just makes me feel sad inside,
Moses

The Meaning and Purpose of Life

Travel can often be a rather isolating event, throw in sickness and immobility and the levels of boredom and lonliness can reach incredible heights. For me I manage these emotions through one of my favorite hobbies: reading. On this trip so far I have read, among many other things, The Great Gatsby, Akhenaton and Man's Search Meaning. I have also conducted some research on the life of the late King Farouk of Egypt since I am staying at his digs. Further, as Blogrophenia regulars know I have been spending a lot of time observing and thinking about the modern Egyptian.

My lifelong obsession has been the pursuit of the "good life" (insert joke here fellas), but by "good life" I don't mean the fun life or living it up (although I certainly have no objection to the above!) I mean the right life, the examined life, the ethical life and the fullfilling life. It is now and always been the primary focus of my life. It is and has been everything to me.

As the confluence of factors, my travels, my readings and my experiences have come together I have begun to feel an insight into the nature and purpose of life.

The contradictions in life have always amazed me. Why is that eating and resting all day makes one tired when running ten miles in the morning makes one feel great? Perhaps it is the same force that makes a stress free hedonistic life like the one that King Farouk lived a painful and depressing one and the horrible experiences that Frankl had in a concentration where basically his whole family was slaughtered and he was driven to the brink of death on multiple occasions meaningful and fullfilling. It seems to me an interesting contrast. Farouk versus the other characters that have accompanied me throughout my travels here in the Middle East.

It seems that Jay Gatsby, Akhenaton and Frankl serve as an interesting foil to my ghostly host King Farouk. The former three had a meaning and purpose in life, while Farouk did not seem to.

For Gatsby it was love of a woman, Daisy. A love that was capable of anything, the accumulation of wealth, courage and sacrifice. Indeed even the ultimate sacrifice. The reader is left with the distinct impression even that Gatsby would do it all over again even knowing that it was, in a sense, in vain.

For Akhenaton it was love of a deity, he is able to watch his entire kingdom crumble around him without fear because of his faith. Perhaps, even he sacrifices it for his faith.

For Frankl it is his message of logotherapy and his practice that brings him through the Hell of the camps in Germany.

I am reminded of that old Billy Crystal movie City Slickers where Jack Palance as Curly tells the Crystal the meaning of life by putting up one finger. He tells him that the meaning is one thing. You can decide what that one thing is but you have to live for it.

It seems to me that he was right on. As Frankl likes to note wasn't it the great Nietzsche himself who told us that "he who has a why can bear any how". Also as Frankl was fond of: It is important for us to stop asking what the meaning of life is and to begin to listen to what life is asking of us. Life is always asking us questions, facing us with responsibilities and it is up to us to answer them.

So what is the meaning of life? Don't think of this as Moses asking, think of this as life asking you that question. . . and only you can answer it. . .

I ain't gonna hurt nobody,
ain't gonna 'cause a scene
I just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!
Moses

A Note on My Health

First, I would like to thank all the well wishers, your e-mails and notes were appreciated. I am doing better although I am still weak. I have made my way to up to Alexandria where I am resting and recuperating. I am spending my at the 115 acre Montazah Palace complex which was owned by the erstwhile Egpytian Royal Family. Surrounded by huge walls on every side but the north (which faces the Mediterranean) the property is replete with palm trees and gazelles. It is quite something and when I feel up to it I enjoy walking around it.

I continue to live on roast beef sandwiches with nothing but a tiny of mayonaisse, pizza and snickers bars. In other news I have been bowling quite a bit here at the Palace and I even managed five strikes in a row. Undoubtedly the athletic achievment of my life, surpassing probably even my recent marathon triumph. Speaking of which I have become convinced that my illnesses are the result of a compromised immune system brought on by the marathon. I calculated recently that I have been ill nearly half the days since the marathon.

I'm still doing it next year though!!

Oh, you know where, now I can’t see, I just stare...I,
I’m still alive,
Moses

A Walk Through Old Cairo

Today my exporation of the religious has led me to a most Holy Place: Old Cairo. Old Cairo is the oldest part of Cairo and may have contained settements as early as the 7th century before Christ. It now houses not only synagoges, churches and mosques but even some remains of Ancient Rome including a fortress you may recall as "Babylon".

First I explored the synagogue Ben Ezra, Egypt's oldest, while no longer active remains open to the public. It rests on the former site of a Coptic Church and was built in 882. What was of most interest to me about it was that it was where the famous Jewish philosopher Moses Maimonides and apparently for a long time it was known as Maimonides Synagogue. Apparently there was a big discocvery of scroll and documents found here within the last hundred years or so. At any rate it was a nice looking synagoge but I've been to a few nicer ones on the Upper East Side. I preyed here for a while and then talked to some people, including someone who took me a covered well outside and claimed that Moses was found floating here. I didn't believe him or tip him.

It's very sad. Egypt contains over thirty synagogues but since it has only about 40 permanent Jewish families really only the downtown synagogue is active. I am reminded of my parents' good friend, A Jewish Egyptian, whose longtime wish was merely "to gaze at and walk through Cairo once more". When will we learn?

Next it was on to Cairo's oldest Church, Saint Sergius, roughly four hundred year older than Ben Ezra it is built on the spot where the Joseph, the Virgin Mary and the baby Jesus rested after their journey into Egypt. I also talked to some people viewed the icons and prayed here. It was really quite something epecially coming on the heels of the incredible synagogue that I just visited. My head was spinning with the enormity of the holy places that I just entered.

After this I walked over the the Hanging Church, Old Cairo is replete with churches once moreso than now, but it's still pretty crowded. Cairo's most famous Church it is built on top of Roman walls and appears to be just hanging there. There is even a part of the Church that features a glass bottom through which you could look down about thirty feet to the ground. Again, I prayed and viewed the icons. It felt great.

The final leg of sojourn through Old Egpyt's Houses of God was the Mosque of Amr. The oldest Mosque in Cairo it was constructed by General Amr Inbi I-As because at this spot a dove had nested where he had set up camp in the late 600's. Although collossal it features a small minaret (a vestige of Ancient Egypt's obelisk - a story for another day). I stayed there for a while, removed my shoes and prayed with the congregation. They were in the midst of a funeral and praying over the body of a man who had died that day. I remained with kneeling on the floor and bowing my head to ground praying and chanting with "Allah Akbar" Arabic for "God is great" it was tremendously moving. Afterwards they carried out his coffin and placed it in a car in order to take it to be buried immediately in accordance with Islamic law and tradition. I remained outside the mosque and viewed the impressive structure. I purchased some Pearls of Faith (aka: an Islamic Rosary).

As I sped home in taxi, a 1978 Russian made car in case you wondering, I thought about my lovely day. I thought about the millions of Jews, Christians and Muslims who had worshipped in these holy houses over, literally almost, the last two thousand years. I thought of the beauty of each of these religions. I consider myself amazingly privelaged to have been able to also worship in each of these places. To have tread on the ground that once held the Holy Family and Moses Maimonides.

It is startling to me that today as adavnced as we supposedly are that peace among the followers of these incredible religions still eludes us. I wish that I could take the World's Leaders with me through a day like this, where we could all kneel humble before the same God in three different ways and ask Him to guide us.

Until then, I'll just have to do it alone.

I have run,
I have walked,
I have scaled these city walls,
Only to be with You,
Moses

My parents were both born in Egypt. My father in Cairo and my mother not too far outside of Cairo. They both moved to the United States as young adults. Because of this, I am fluent in Arabic and have been to Egypt many times. I don't feel particularly Egpytian and consider myself much more of an American than I do an Egpytian. To a large extent I don't consider myself an Egyptian at all in the modern sense.

As I walk around Cairo and Alexandria and I look around I feele a vague familiarity. The type that you might feel with an old friend or lover. I remember it and understand largely but there is also a sense of otherness. To me the clothing, the smells and the sounds are all known but still strange. As I look at the people and as I speak to them I think "I am not like you, I know and I understand you, but I am not you. You are not my people and I am not yours. I came from here, but I no longer belong here." I find myself missing home. I am excited when I see an American and I aggressively ask them where they are from. I miss my home, my culture.

I have long since catagorically rejected the idea of having "a people" intellectually, but I am pleased to find my emotions in harmony with my mind. I cringe when I hear somebody say I want to marry of the same ethnicity or religion simply for the purpose of doing so. It is in my mind one of the subtle vestiges of racism discrimination that we tolerate and I find it abhorrent.
An adult form of fraternity, a shortcut to creating an identity of one's own. I exempt feeling "American" as more of an idealology, certainly any reader of these pages knows that I am not averse to criticizing the U.S. when necessary.

Again I am satisfied that I don't even have the urge to try to belong to any group. I espouse a rugged and radical individualism based on the inherent personality, and that that he/she chooses, for themselves as opposed to the prepackaged identity found in ethnicity and religion.

To the extent that I have "a people" I would say they are those of open mind and heart. Those who love justice, freedom and tolerance. Indeed, those who love love.

My hands have been made strong
By the hands of the Almighty,
Moses

One of the most interesting phenomena of my exploration of the ancient Temples and ruins of Upper Egypt is that it has strengthened my burgeoning spirituality. In a very counter intuitive way it has reinforced all that I have long believed about the West's big three religion: namely that they are all one in the same, having largely the same objectives and most certainly the same source. The wisdom of the ancient Egpytians.

As I walked through the Temple of Karnak and saw the writings on the wall and translated them, I read about the Ancient Egyptians conquering the House Jacob, I thought of Freud's Moses and Monotheism. I know that Judaism was born and grew in the heart of Egpyt. It is very likely that Moses himself was an Egyptian. The story of the Jews, indeed the genesis of Judaism, is inextricably linked with Egypt.

As for Christianity, did you know that Ancient Egypt mythology contained not only a holy trinity (Osirus, Icis and Horus), but a virgin birth, a resurrection AND cross symbol? The cross symbol, the ubiquitous "onk" represented two things. But before explaining them let me describe the onk it is a cross with a cirlce on top. The circle on top in the first imagery represented a womb, the vertical line a man and the two of them came together with horizontal line across the middle that represented the child. Stated otherwise the onk meant that one plus one equals three. The symbol of life. The other interpretation was that the vertical line represented the Nile and the horizontal line the east and west with the cirlce representing the Delta. Again: Life.

As for Islam it is so explicitly derivative and reliant on Christianity and Judaism that it hardly needs to be discussed, however one notable by way of example is the 40 day wait after the death of a Muslim that is the direct result of the 40 day dessication process used in ancient Egypt during mummification.

I can write for hours on these and many other things but suffice it to say that I am satisfied that the story of ancient Egpyt is nothing short of the story of man. It is the foundation on which our deepest beliefs are based. We can argue and wage wars all we want but the fact of the matter is that we all come from the same place and we all really and ultimately believe the same thing. We just go about differently. Call Him Yaweh, the Lord, Allah or whatever it's all the same. He is God. He is the one. The one envisoned by Akhenaton all those years. Renamed restated and repackaged. In the words of the great Muhammad Ali: "Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams — they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do — they all contain truths."I have come to believe this more than ever.

We're One,
But we're not the same,
Yeah we hurt each other,
And we do it again,
Moses

A Sickness Unto Death

I am more sick than I have ever been. I have a parasite which has been wreaking havok on my stomach intestines for almost a week now. I have something like strep throat and a horrible cough. I am cold at all times and my whole body aches. I sleep for about 18-20 hours a day. Further, I have a severe sunburn that has so scarred me that people literally stare at my face. On top of all that Cairo has the absolute worst pollution that I have ever encountered. It is like standing behind a NYC bus ALL THE TIME. I am leaving for Alexandria soon by train, hopefully I will be able to get more rest there and perhaps even some of that fresh air that comes off the Mediterranean.

Hold you in his armchair
You can feel his disease,
Moses

I have fallen ill. I have returned to Cairo but am suffering from sort of parasitic infection. I hope to post more to Blogrophenia as soon as I feel better.

I am spending most of time in a hotel in Cairo eating roast beef sandwiches with no lettuce tomato or mayo. I am also visiting the Turkish bath periodically when I feel up to it.

I have just finished the Great Gatsby which I enjoyed and am now reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.

I have also been brushing up on my Spinoza having completed my review of the great Greeks. I had forgotten what a collosal figure in Western philosophy Spinoza really. After my survey of Spinoza is complete I intend to conduct an in depth examination of Akhnaton a figure whose importance extends from theology to philosophy to politics to art history. His importance is difficult to overstate.

I dream of rain,
I dream of gardens in the desert sand,
I wake in vain,
Moses